We, the Anti Yuppie Kickball Guerilla Front, do advocate all ridiculous direct action and pranks persuant to the collapse of kickball for Young Professionals in the greater Washington, DC area. For too long have we sat idle while all the chumps, douche-bags, yuppies, and stripey-shirt imported assholes of this town coalesced their power under this banner. Already they make life in Our Great Capital barely tollerable and now through solidarity their ham-headed presence is flaunted like a fish smack to the face during any afternoon stroll. Like a sickening monochrome slime these homogonized social stamp-outs will spread influence through the Capital region until life here is indistinguishable from living inside a frat-house wrapped in Old Navy clothing all tucked inside a giant Walmart. But this wave breaks Now on the solid boots of The Front. Already our agents move unseen through cursed kickball leagues and our actions are the stuff of hushed whispers, nightmares.. and hopes. We reveal our presence now to educate, collaborate and recruit. Our numbers are vast. Our skills infinite. Our power cannot be contained.

Where do you stand?

--NEWS--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6/2/08 - The sheer magnitude of Conscript Oreo's elaborate and ballsy escapade/stunt/shitstorm this weekend on The Mall elevates him immediately to Co-Inquisitor status. May God and country deliver him from evil.. and allow him to defend himself in court. (video in mems only.)

5/19/08 - Need we any more motivation than this email? "comments: i dare you to pull some shit. Please do it. I seriously double dog-shit in a flying bag dare you to try and fuck up a kickball game. We'll be ready."

4/29/08 - Agent T-Bone has been stripped of rank and priviledge and declared excommunicate after admitting joining a Brooklyn kickball league. For the record (this sadly seems a regular point of confusion), Brooklyn and its self-absorbed dipshitterati are not a rubber stamp for cool. Only thing that would make Brooklyn cool would be kicking an oil drum of nerve gas out the back of a C-130 over it. Fuck Brooklyn.

4/16/08 - Battle after battle we have proven that strength derived through our faith is our primary weapon. Be that battle on the kickball field, in the bars, or.. in the courtroom. Inquisitor K has been released from jail after winning his appeal. Like a thunderclap from Zeus in fatigues, Inquisitor K & the rest of the AYKGF are prepared to rain shit upon the 2008 kickball retches at an unimaginably horrible level.

10/4/07 - Original Inquisitor K arrest news here.

9/27/07 - The AYKGF is in print! To join direct action at a *game* is not required as yee who are advancing through the trials know well. Note Agent Orange's creative 'pink-milkshake-attack' on 18th st.

9/27/07 - I dont give a flying fuck what is miss-spelled on the site, so stop pestering me. Spelling, grammar.. these are but chains to the working class.

9/24/07 - Forum taken private! (Again). Wisdom from applicants updated.

9/24/07 - Zombie attack on kickball convention at Tom-Tom thwarted by excessive consumption! Inquisitor K is disgusted by all of you.

9/19/07 - FORUM IS UP! Tossed old database- too incriminating. No email registration required. Let the great public speak!

9/19/07 - Rally for Vengeance scheduled for 10/6/07.

9/18/07 - Look at this fucking tool. kickballinthecity.blogspot.com

9/18/07 - Now displaying the more powerful words of wisdom from recruitment efforts (see Join Us).

8/28/07 - Recruiting propaganda complete, dieyuppiekickball.com goes public. ..And they shall know no mercy.

8/2/07 - We salute the first northern Virginia chapter of The Front.

7/21/07 - Shit mortar maiden voyage a horrible success!

7/6/07 - Raised $388 toward Secret Agent "Joel #2"s $500 bail bond! Almost!

7/4/07 - 4th of July Metal Fest at the Mothership!

6/22/07 - Hooray for Assault Squad B on coordinated multi-ball knapping! getcha case of beer for that one.

6/3/07 - Congratulations new agents, Lazer Eagle and Sprinkles

5/19/07 - Private Site Launch Party! Bring dip. And ammo.